At the core of the theory of human psychological evolution are two ideas: first, we grow and evolve in stages, and second, each stage has its own specific needs. What motivates us is the satisfaction of the needs of the stage of psychological development we have reached—our primary motivation, and the satisfaction of the needs of the stages of psychological development we have passed through where we still have unmet needs—our secondary motivations. For whatever reason and for whatever period of time our secondary needs predominate over our primary needs, we become arrested in our evolutionary development. Whilst our conscious awareness is focused on satisfying our secondary needs, we cannot focus on our primary needs.
When we are able to satisfy our needs we experience a sense of internal stability and external equilibrium. We feel aligned and comfortable in ourselves and we feel aligned and comfortable with those around us and with our environment. When we are unable to satisfy our needs we experience either internal instability or external disequilibrium. We feel misaligned and uncomfortable in ourselves or we feel misaligned and uncomfortable with those around us or with our environment.
Whatever needs we have that we have not been able to satisfy, or whatever needs we require to help us remain aligned and comfortable in ourselves and with those around us, is what we value. Thus our values are always a reflection of our needs. Our values are an expression of what is missing in our lives and what we require in our lives to remain in a state of internal stability and external equilibrium.
Roberto Assagioli, an Italian psychiatrist and pioneer in the fields of humanistic and trans-personal psychology, makes the following observation about the link between values and stages of development (levels of being):
The existence of different levels of being having different values is an evident and undeniable manifestation of the great law of evolution, as it progresses from simple and crude stages to more refined and highly organized ones.
Most people have no concept of where their motivations come from, what stage of psychological development they are at, what stages they have passed through, or what stages they still need to master to find fulfilment in their lives. The only criteria they have for making choices are: what makes them feel happy in the moment, or what gives their life a sense of meaning and fulfilment.
Happiness, meaning and fulfillment are not synonymous. What makes us happy is the satisfaction of our ego’s needs, and what gives our life meaning and fulfillment is the satisfaction of our soul’s needs. Often people gain a sense of meaning from dealing with situations that are intrinsically sad, unjust or unfair, or physically or emotionally challenging. Alleviating poverty, rectifying injustice and caring for the sick, elderly or dying are not always “happy” experiences: what makes these experiences meaningful is our ability to make a difference. When we are able devote our lives to such pursuits, or whatever activities we invest our time in that make a difference, we find fulfillment.
At a certain point in life, and in certain circumstances, meaning can be just as important to our psychological survival as oxygen and water are to our physical survival. Finding meaning can also act as a source of resilience.
Viktor Frankl (Man’s Search for Meaning), noticed while he was a prisoner in a Nazi concentration camp that those who saw meaning in life, or who gave it meaning, demonstrated a surprising degree of strength and resistance. Finding this meaning proved to be of decisive survival value.
Finding happiness, meaning and fulfillment is not always easy. It sometimes involves making tough choices; choices you have never had to make before. Often the choices we are faced with are challenging: They involve choosing between competing needs—between our growth needs and our safety needs.
When you have as a resource someone you can trust (a coach) who has an intimate understanding of the stages of psychological development because they have been through the process of human emergence themselves, then you are in a good position to make the right choices—the choices that increase your happiness, give your life meaning, and enable you to find a sense of fulfillment. In other words, when you have an evolutionary coach (someone who understands what you are going through) you are in a good position to make the choices that will help you to accelerate your evolution.
Evolutionary Coaching 